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Devin's Drawing-essay "Handspan Diary" (no. 1 _ 20180318): Transpacific Interview via Skype

Finally, I got an opportunity to interview for applying for the Ph.D. program.

There was only one screen between the people who looked at me and me.

In the short time of screen booting, I kept thinking about how I could illustrate my weaknesses as strengths, fill in the points needed to supplement, how many strengths I had, and how it could be helpful for the study.

I had to prepare various fences to defend against the expected or even unexpected questions.

I had to persevere and not to be panic.

However, when I got to the interview,

it felt as if the people on the other side were piercing the screen

and poking their faces in front of me.

'These people must have grasped my info and history in advance, right?'

'Do they already have any tentative conclusions or opinions about me?'

It felt like everything about me was penetrated and naked like a jellyfish.

Just as I was about to be nervous with such miscellaneous thoughts,

the energy of Cheongshimhwan(relaxing pills),

which I had been taking every 30 minutes since an hour ago,

was finally showing its medicinal strength and wrapped around my body hotly.

'Wake up, Devin! This is a precious chance!'

'You have to show them everything. You have to expose yourself!!!!!'

I felt like my body and mind were expanding within me in an instant.

Then, the interview had finished, and I don't remember at all.

What did I say? Who got in and out of me? Only the throbbing feeling

that I was desperately trying my best to show one more to appeal remains.


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